So what I want to know is why I lie about myself. I mean I want to tell the truth but this is the only place I seem to be able to. I lie to my parents, friends, family, even my fucking social worker I lie to. With my Social Worker (Kelly) most of the time I can tell her the truth, but lately it seems that I can't. I think that the reason why I do lie to her is because I want to make my life seem more interesting. I told her that I have a boyfriend when truthfully I'm in love with this guy that I met over the internet but he's now in a Mental Institute. With my parents I lie to them about who I've been with, where I'm going, and what I'm doing because I don't want them to know that truthfully I'm just a dtupid loner that has no life....but wants one. I'm just really shy and have an Anxiety disorder which makes it realy difficult for me to be around people. But all I want to do is stop lying about my life...I think. I mean I'm scared to think about who I'll be without the safety of my lies. Anyways I have to go now So I will peobably continute this later.

Okay, okay. So I know that I haven't been on in like....ever, but I have just been so busy. I mean, I haven't really been messing up with my life and I'm trying to be a better person and everything, so I just haven't felt the need to come and write on here for a little while. Actually I noticed that when I came on here today that I was really missing writing about my life. I know that no-one really reads my stuff but it's still a place for me to come and get away form my life. Anyways I have been doing lots of reading and enjoying the weather so mostly it has been all good! I found out yesterday that Kelly is going to take me out for Mexican food on Thursday! I'm really looking forward to that! We actually had my I think it's my Great-Great-Great Aunt's "celebration of life" like a week ago. It was pretty interesting because I didn't really know her but I got to meet like a couple more cousins and family members. I didn't know that my mom's side of the family was so huge, I mean I knew that it was big but I just didn't thinkit was THAT big! Oohh I'm also in a diet. I'm eating like more healthier and not eating as much food, and it's really working out for me!